before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
