is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I will pee on everything he values.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
