I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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