I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
