omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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