i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
