Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
