Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
