Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't deserve a penis
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
