quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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