Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
