It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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