so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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