Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize