4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
