she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize