Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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