i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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