I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
