onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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