maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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