so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
