If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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