they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
