Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
