My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
