i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
