We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
