She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
