she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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