We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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