The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
