She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize