Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
