Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
