How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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