just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I would ride that face into the sunset
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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