Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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