the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
