you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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