There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
