my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
