How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
