After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
