eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
