Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
