His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
