Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
