Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
