Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
