Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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