Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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