I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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