If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My breasts were aching with rage.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
