I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize