my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
