He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
