Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
