Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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