I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
