i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
