she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You're a waste of cheezeits
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
