I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
