I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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