just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
