i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
