Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my sisters under your porch take her home
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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