But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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