remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
