I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My penis needs a shock collar
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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