So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize