You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
