Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
