He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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