Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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