anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
