marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
its not stalking. its research.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
