it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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