i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Shame - the story of my life.
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